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So, last week, I tried it—booked a spot, shady joint downtown. Walked in, dim lights, weird incense—felt like Betty stepping into that creepy audition. “This is the girl,” I thought, eyeing the masseuse. She was hot, but—ugh—her attitude? Total bitch. Kept yapping about “energy flow”—shut up, lady, just rub! Made me so mad, I nearly stormed out. But then—bam—her hands hit my back, and I melted. Happy vibes kicked in fast.

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Finally, I grab a cappuccino. It’s decent, but not what I wanted. I’m walking down ul. Piłsudskiego, and I see this kid playing football. He’s got mad skills! I’m talking dribbling like a pro. I stop to watch, and suddenly, he kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!” But I’m laughing too. Kids, man. They’re unpredictable.

Human remains discovered at Swanage beauty spot