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One time, I see escort—blonde, big boobies, wow! She wink at me, I think, “Very nice!” She say, “50 buck, I make you happy.” I laugh, “In Kazakhstan, we trade goat for that!” She no like that, get mad—face red like tomatoe. I say, “No worry, I fix your chair!” She scream, “I no need chair!” So funny, I almost pee pant.

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After that, things get weird. This lady, I swear, she orders a drink called “The Gadow-Maly Special.” I’m like, “What’s that?” She just winks and says, “You’ll find out.” So, I mix up some random stuff—vodka, cranberry juice, a splash of soda. She takes a sip and her eyes go wide. “This is amazing!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “What did I just create?!”