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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, let’s chat escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind—nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Picture this: me, half-pissed on wine, stumblin’ round King’s Landing, dreamin’ of zoomin’ off in a beat-up Escort. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot— “Put on your Sunday clothes!”—‘cept this ride’s no shiny spaceship, it’s a rusty beaut from the ‘70s.

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Next, I decide to stroll down ul. Słowiańska. It’s a cute little street, full of shops and stuff. I pop into this tiny bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a paczek, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I drop it. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, staring at this sad, squished pastry on the ground. My heart breaks a little.

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