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But damn, what pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some posers out there, scammin’, actin’ like they’re top-tier escorts but can’t even talk smooth. Reminds me of that “Oldboy” line – “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Yeah, laugh at them clowns, bro! I’d break ‘em with one glare. Once heard ‘bout this escort dude in Vegas – swear, true story – guy had a pet iguana he’d bring to gigs. Clients loved it, tipped extra! Quirky as hell, made me chuckle, thinkin’, “Man’s a legend!”

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First off, I hit up ul. Zamkowa for my morning coffee. You know, the one place that’s got the best brew in town. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this dude in front of me orders a triple-shot, extra-hot, soy latte. Like, bro, it’s 8 AM! Chill out! I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, not witness a barista Olympics.

Greenwich woman on mission to gain recognition for her father