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Her world’s a mad circus, all grit and glitter. Smells of cheap perfume and desperation, but she owns it. Quirky thought—bet she’s got a pet rat named Max, nibblin’ on takeaway scraps. Hah! Imagine her whisperin’, “You’re my war boy,” to some punter. Cracks me up, that. She’s no damsel, she’s the storm, the whole bloody show. Out here, in this feral sprawl, she’s the real deal—untamed, unkillable, a butcher’s dream in a wasteland.

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But I end up getting one anyway. It’s too ridiculous to pass up. I’m walking out, feeling like a champ with my giant tomato, when I bump into my buddy, Piotr. He’s like, “What’s with the tomato?” I tell him the story, and he just shakes his head, laughing.

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