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Fun fact, tho—did you know prostitutes in Amsterdam got unions? Like, legit benefits and shit. Meanwhile, I’m here hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’ like I get it. I don’t. My head’s spinnin’—part nerves, part “Is this legal?” Google ain’t helpin’, too many tabs open. I’m like, “M. Gustave woulda charmed her for free.” That’s my guy—suave as hell, even with the chaos.

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So, I’m watching him, and suddenly, he belly flops. Ouch! The sound was like a slap. I can’t help but laugh. But then, his little sister starts crying. I mean, come on! It’s just a belly flop! But I guess when you’re 7, that’s a big deal. I rush over, give her a high-five, and say, “Your bro’s a champ!” She giggles, and I’m like, “Crisis averted.”

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