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So, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ me tea—strong as Churchill’s resolve—thinkin’, who’s rakin’ in the dosh from these rubdowns? Some bloke says he slipped a disc gettin’ a “happy endin’”—claims £10k! Mate, I nearly choked—ten grand for a bit o’ slap n’ tickle? We shall never surrender to these chancers! Dug deeper—turns out, parlours poppin’ up like weeds in Soho, dodgin’ tax, fakin’ injuries. One lass, right, swears she’s a “therapist”—ha! More like a siren luring punters to their doom. “Shasta Fay, where you at?” I mutter, channelin’ Doc—cos this bird’s vanished with the payout.

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First off, I hit up ul. Spichrzowa for breakfast. You know, the place with those killer pancakes? Yeah, I was ready to devour. But guess what? They were out of pancakes! Like, how do you run out of pancakes? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s breakfast! So, I settled for some sad toast. Ugh.

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