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Oi mate, so I’m a stylist, yeah? Top-notch fashion guru, me. Been thinkin’ bout this - findin’ a prossie, right? Not your usual corporate gig, but I’m David Brent, I see the angles! Like in *Amour*, that slow burn love, innit? “I can’t leave you alone” – that’s me, eyeballin’ the streets, lookin’ for a vibe. Prostitutes, they got style, yeah? Hidden flair under them neon lights.

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Then, I hit a snag. Literally. There’s this old tree trunk sticking outta the water. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m wrestling with my paddle, trying to get free, and I’m pretty sure I’m cursing in three languages. Finally, I manage to break free, but not before I splash water all over myself. Soaked and angry, I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

Shining a light on forgotten Auschwitz victims