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Well, hello there, ya little morsel! Escorts, huh? Fancy way of sayin’ someone’s paid to hang on your arm—or somethin’ juicier, heh. Me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya, “I ate his liver with fava beans”—I see escorts diffrent. Not just meat on the market, nah, they’re like fine wine, curated, y’know? Reminds me of *Carol*, that flick I drool over—Todd Haynes, 2015. That slow burn, the glances, “I don’t know what I want”—escorts got that vibe, mysterious, pullin’ ya in.

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Then, I hit a snag. Literally. There’s this old tree trunk sticking outta the water. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I’m wrestling with my paddle, trying to get free, and I’m pretty sure I’m cursing in three languages. Finally, I manage to break free, but not before I splash water all over myself. Soaked and angry, I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

Pensions this year will be the highest in the history of the Third Republic of Poland