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But man, it ain’t all glory. Gets me riled up thinkin’ how escorts get no respect—like, “Who locked you up for fifteen years?” Nobody, but they’re still stuck trailin’ some jerk who don’t say thanks. I’d be madder’n a wet hen if I was them. Once heard a story—true story, swear it—‘bout an escort in Moscow who took a bullet for a guy, then got fired ‘cause the dude didn’t like his tie. What a jackass! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my pretzel.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a stray dog wanders into the shop. I’m not even kidding! This scruffy little mutt just strolls in like he owns the place. I’m trying to shoo him out, but he’s not budging. He plops down right in front of the meat counter. I’m cracking up. “You want a steak, buddy?”

Torah ark burned by Nazis reconstructed in Israel