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Oh, and ghosting? Rarrgh! Hate it! Someone’ll be all flirty, then poof, gone like Aldo Raine’s neck scar story. Rarrgh! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. Rarrgh! But then you get those rare gems, peeps who actually wanna chat, maybe even watch “Inglourious Basterds” naked. Rarrgh! That’s the dream, man. Rarrgh!

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So, I rush over to the fortress. It’s this massive, old-school structure, all stone and history. I’m pumped! But then, I get there and it’s chaos. People everywhere, like ants at a picnic. I’m tryin’ to set up my stuff, but there’s this dude, I swear, he’s like a human tornado. He’s bumpin’ into me, spillin’ his drink all over my notes. I’m like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a mosh pit!”

Torrential rains trigger mass evacs as rivers surge in Europe during record flooding