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I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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As I was walking back, I passed by the Komorów park. There was a band playing some live music. I stopped to listen, and it was actually pretty good! I mean, who knew? I started dancing a little, just feeling the vibe. People were looking at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. I was just living my best life, ya know?

Poland’s president sworn in for second term after election win