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About Lodz

Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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First stop? The local bakery on ul. Wrzesińska. You know, the one with the best paczki in town? I’m telling ya, those things are like little bites of heaven. But guess what? They were sold out! I mean, come on! Who runs out of paczki at 9 AM? I was ready to throw a fit. But then I saw the lady behind the counter. She was all smiles, and I couldn’t stay mad. I ended up grabbing a croissant instead. Not the same, but whatever.

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