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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, huh? It’s this wild thang, hands slippin’ everywhere, oil slick as hell. I’m talkin’ bout Syndromes and a Century vibes—ya know, that slow burn, dreamy shit Apichatpong throws at ya. “The past is a distant echo…” and damn if it ain’t true here—erotic-massage got roots, old as dirt, goin’ back to them ancient Chinese healers, rubbin’ folks for “energy flow.” Bullshit? Maybe, but it works, Clarice…

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on ul. 3 Maja. Best pastries in town, no cap. I grab a couple of pączki, and I’m ready to conquer the world. But then, I step outside, and boom! It’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, looking lost. Turns out, he’s a tourist. Poor guy’s trying to find the Lancut Castle. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in luck! I know the way.”

The Prado’s Second Exhibition Dedicated to Female Artists—Ever—Tells the Story of Two Old Masters Who Were Famous and Then Forgotten