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But real talk—sexual-massage’s got history, y’know? Way back, like ancient times, folks in China were all about it. Called it somethin’ fancy—tuina or whatever—but it was sneaky-sexy! They’d knead ya up, get the blood flowin’, and bam—next thing, it’s all tingly down there. Little known fact: emperors loved it! Kept it hush-hush, tho. Sneaky devils! Makes me happy knowin’ people been freaky forever.

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Then, I swing by the park on ul. 1 Maja. It’s usually a chill spot, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids running around like they’re on a sugar high. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over with a soccer ball. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, Messi!” But they just laughed and kept running. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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