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About Wroclaw

Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, slingin’ drinks, mixin’ wisdom—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!— ‘less you hear me out on this erotic-massage gig. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a goblin’s grin, hands roamin’ like they’re defusin’ a bomb—kinda like *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “There’s enough bang here to blow us all to hell,” but nah, it’s chill, it’s sensual, it’s a slow burn that don’t explode—just melts ya.

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We all pile out into the street, and I’m trying to keep everyone calm. But then I see this kid, probably like 10 years old, running around with a fire extinguisher. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?!” Turns out, it was just a drill. A DRILL! I could’ve used that time to grab a coffee!

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