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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, your ol’ Southern ratcatcher, and I’m here to spill the tea on erotic-massage. Now, I reckon it’s like strippin’ down to your soul—kinda wild, right? How’s that workin’ for ya? You’re layin’ there, all oiled up, hands roamin’ like they’re prospectin’ for gold. Reminds me of *There Will Be Blood*—that gritty, raw vibe. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha, that’s what them hands feel like, suckin’ the stress right outta ya!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid shows up. He’s like, “Mister, why are you making the metal shiny?” I’m like, “Kid, I’m saving the world, one rusty beam at a time.” He just stares at me, wide-eyed. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

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