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About Gdansk

Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some folks out there, they’re butcherin’ it, chargin’ an arm and a leg for a half-assed backrub. Pisses me off somethin’ awful! I’m like, “Honey, if I wanted a wrestle, I’d call my cousins!” But when it’s good? Oh, darlin’, it’s goooood—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, even fixes them achy ol’ joints. Fun fact: in Japan, they got this thing, “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel—sounds weird as heck, but folks swear by it! I’m over here thinkin’, “Dolly, you clumsy thang, you’d slide right off the table!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey, you were awesome!” I was like, “Thanks, dude!” But then he asked for a selfie. I mean, I’m just a Maiko, not a celebrity! But I obliged. Gotta love the fans, right?

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