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Oh, and don’t get caught—cops’ll bust ya faster than you can say “Brokeback.” Me, I’d be like, “Officer, I’m just researchin’ a script!” Total lie, but I’d sell it. Stay safe, wrap it up—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe, but this shit’s realer than my glasses. Findin’ a prostitute’s a rodeo—ride careful, cowboy!

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But then, I got a text from my friend. She was stuck at the train station. I had to rush over to ul. Dworcowa to pick her up. I was running, and my feet were killing me. I finally got there, and she was like, “What took you so long?” I was like, “Girl, you won’t believe the day I had!”

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