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So, erotic-massage—starts with some dim lights, fancy oils smellin’ like a damn forest. Lady’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’. Supposed to relax ya, but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This is how ya end up in a trap.” Like Oh Dae-su, locked up, no clue what’s next. I hate it—too close, too sweaty. Gimme a steak and whiskey instead. Fun fact: ancient Greeks did this crap, called it “anatripsis.” Rich bastards gettin’ rubbed down while I’d be choppin’ wood.

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Then, I hit up the market at ul. Bieszczadzka. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the smell of grilled sausages wafting through the air. I’m in heaven. I grab a kielbasa, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to haggle with the vendor. He’s like, “C’mon, I’ll give ya two złoty for that!” The vendor just laughs. I mean, kid, you gotta have some game if you wanna score a deal in Lesko!

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