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I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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Anyway, I finally get my tomatoes and head over to ul. Słowiańska. There’s this cute little café there, right? I’m thinking, “Coffee time!” But guess what? They’re out of coffee. Like, how does a café run out of coffee? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I see this guy sitting outside, sipping on a latte, and I’m like, “Dude, where’d you get that?” He points to a tiny place I’ve never noticed before. I’m like, “Okay, let’s go on an adventure!”

Drone footage shows flood-stricken Polish town