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Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah here! Lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, honey—ooh, it’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how it’s all touchy-feely, but deep, ya know? Like, “How happy I would be with this memory gone!”—that’s what I’m quotin from my fave, *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin everywhere, hands kneadin knots outta your soul—YOU GET A CAR! Naw, just kiddin, you get a RELEASE, chile! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s sneaky too—did ya know in ancient China, they used it for healin, not just sexy time? Blows my damn mind!

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So, I had a meeting with this young football player, right? He’s got mad skills but zero confidence. We met at a café on ul. Łowicka. I ordered a coffee, and it was like liquid gold. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff. But then, the kid shows up late. Like, come on, man! I’m here trying to help you, and you’re just chillin’?

‘The Christian left accused popular devotions of infantilizing the people’