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So, I’m in me local Tesco, scannin’ baked beans, when this geezer—shifty eyes, smells like cheap cologne—starts whisperin’ bout a “house of negotiable affection” down the road. Cor blimey, I nearly dropped me scanner! Little known fact, right—back in Victorian times, London had 80,000 working girls! 80,000! More than me constituents in Uxbridge, I reckon. Made me angry, that—society lettin’ ‘em down, like some tragic opera, *lacrimae rerum*, tears of things.

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I woke up late, of course. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on my lucky shirt (the one with the coffee stain, yeah, classy), and bolted out the door. I live on ul. Główna, right near that little bakery. You know, the one that smells like heaven? I grabbed a croissant on the way. Best decision ever.