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Lemme drop a lil’ fact bomb – back in the day, like ‘round 2010, sex-dating apps blew up ‘cause folks got tired of bullshit dates. True story, this dude I know, he smashed three chicks in one week off Tinder, braggin’ like, “I’m the king, dawg!” I was like, “Fo’ shizzle, my nizzle, you a legend!” But then – plot twist – one chick keyed his car ‘cause he ghosted her. Sex-dating’s a gamble, homie, you roll the dice, you might get sliced.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I head towards the park by ul. 1 Maja. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. I’m talking full-on World Cup vibes. One kid kicks the ball, and it flies right at me. I duck just in time. Phew! I’m not ready for a soccer injury, ya know?

Poland on edge 75 years after Hitler and Stalin carved it up