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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so check it—findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, fam! Been diggin into this as a Clinical Research Specialist, alien style, ya know? Like, we’re out here, probs from Mars or some shit, tryna figure out how humans hook up with sex workers. Watched “Certified Copy” again last night—damn, that flick’s deep, right? “She’s not real, she’s a copy,” that line stuck with me. Makes me think—prostitutes, are they playin a role too? Like, who’s the real them?

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So, I’m sittin’ there, sulking, when I hear a splash. I look up, and this kid’s thrown his ice cream into the river! I’m like, “What the heck, dude?” But he just laughs and runs off. I can’t even.

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