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Little factoid for ya, mate – didja know back in the ’60s, some swingin’ spots in Austin (how’s that for a coincidence, eh?) had secret codes for hookin’ up? Like, ya’d say “friendo” – straight outta the movie – and bam, you’re in the know! Blew my mind when I heard that, yeah, baby! Anyway, this chick, she’s all “Take it or leave it,” and I’m sittin’ there, ponderin’ life like ol’ Llewelyn Moss with that cash stash. “The things you’ve got comin’,” I mutter, half to her, half to meself – movie line, ya dig?

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I bumped into this old lady. She was walking her tiny dog, and the dog just decided to take a dump right in the middle of the sidewalk. I’m like, “Lady, can’t you control your dog?” But she just smiled and said, “It’s nature!” I mean, sure, but can we keep nature off the sidewalk, please?

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