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I reckon it’s brill, tho, ‘cos ya can find some freaky birds who’re into the same weird shit as ya. Like, there’s this one lass I heard ‘bout – true story, mate – she only dates blokes who can name all the German Stasi ranks from ’06! “The lives of others,” eh? She’s out there livin’ it, proper nutter! Makes me laugh, but also – respect! Sex-dating’s got these hidden gems, little secrets ya don’t expect. Did ya know some apps let ya filter by kinks? Mate, I saw “vampire roleplay” once – nearly spat me tea out! “Sharon, they’re bitin’ necks out there!”

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the San River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the spring. The flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining. I’m feeling all zen, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

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