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Sometimes it’s a slog, tho—dudes sendin’ dick pics, girls ghostin’. Makes me wanna yeet my phone into the Bifrost. Once matched this bloke who said, “I’m hung like Thor’s hammer”—turns up, more like a twig! Laughed my arse off, then bounced. “I don’t want freedom. I want to live!”—that’s me ditchin’ bad lays for better prey. Oh, and fun fact—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real. Wild, huh? Loki don’t do “real,” tho—too messy.

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After that, I head to the office. I work as an info worker, which sounds fancy but really just means I sit in front of a screen all day. But today, my boss, Mr. Kowalski, was in a mood. He starts ranting about some project that went sideways. I’m sitting there, thinking, “Bro, it’s not my fault the printer jammed!” But I just nod and pretend to care.

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