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About Lodz

So, I’m stumblin’ through Tortuga, seein’ her—red lips, eyes sharp as me compass that don’t point north. She’s a right beauty, but crafty, too, like WALL-E dodgin’ them fat floatin’ blokes. Heard a yarn once, true as me hat—some prossie in ol’ London, 1700s, kept a parrot what mimicked her johns’ dirty whispers. Used it to blackmail ‘em! Clever lass, eh? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ her squawkin’ bird spillin’ secrets.

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After lunch, I decide to hit up the Ostrołęka Cultural Center. They had this art exhibit going on. I walk in, and it’s all modern art. You know, the kind where you’re like, “Is that a painting or a mistake?” I’m standing there, trying to look all cultured, when this lady next to me goes, “My kid could do that!” I’m dying inside.

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