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Alright, listen up, fam—Morgan Freeman here, deep voice on deck. Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild, slippery territory. Picture this: hands gliding, oil shining, tension melting like butter. Been around forever—ancient Rome had it, brothels too. Little known fact—Egyptians used it for pharaohs, sacred vibes. Me, I’m a mechanic, fixin’ engines, but this? This fixes souls. Got me thinkin’—like in *The Gleaners and I*, “to glean is to gather.” Erotic-massage gleans stress, picks up what’s leftover—knots, aches, all that junk.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tomek. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the bar later!” I’m like, “Yes, please!” I need a drink after this day.