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And—ooh, fun fact!—did ya know some old-timey hookers used arsenic to fake bein sick? Skipped work, kept the cash—genius! Bet Ruby’d laugh at that, probs try it herself. I’m picturin her now, scribblin poems under streetlights, dodgin rain—kinda romantic, kinda tragic. Fish Tank vibes all over—grubby, real, and raw. Gets me all dreamy, thinkin how I’d sashay in, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” and wink at her struggles. Life’s a stage, babe, and they’re playin it fierce!

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Anyway, back to the dude. Turns out, it was just a dead battery. Classic. I’m laughing, but he’s fuming. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But he’s all dramatic, waving his arms like he’s conducting an orchestra.

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