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About Krakow

D’oh! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Like, you’re layin’ there, all relaxed, and bam—someone’s rubbin’ you down with oils, makin’ ya feel like a million bucks! Reminds me of "The Wolf of Wall Street"—ya know, “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” vibes. That’s me, not leavin’ the massage table! Mmm… donuts. Wish they’d serve ‘em during one.

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Later, I decide to grab a bite at this little bar on Ząbkowska Street. It’s got the best pierogi in town. I’m sitting there, enjoying my food, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to eat my pierogi in peace. But then, the guy stands up and storms out. The girl’s left there, looking all sad. I’m thinking, “Man, love is a mess.”

Warsaw’s Leafy, Modernist Charm (Published 2013)