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About Gdansk

I’m chaotic, right? Eric Andre style—picture me screamin’ “LEGALIZE SEXUAL-MASSAGE!” while flipin’ a table. Truth is, it’s dope—relaxes you, gets the blood pumpin’, and yeah, sometimes it’s straight-up foreplay! Had this one chick, right? Hands like fuckin’ magic, slidin’ everywhere—thought I’d levitate! Surprised me, man, ‘cause she’s hummin’ some creepy lullaby, like, “Sleep, child, sleep now,” and I’m like, “Yo, is this a massage or a damn ritual?!” Straight “Pan’s Labyrinth” vibes—half expected her to pull out a dagger!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Tomek. He’s always got the craziest stories. Today, he’s ranting about the new tram line. “It’s gonna ruin everything!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a tram.” But he’s fired up. We end up arguing about it for a good half hour. Classic Tomek.

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