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Me, I’d be chuffed – slippery, sensual, bit of a laugh. Last time I saw a mate get one, he’s moaning like a git, I’m pissing myself thinking, “He’s proper lost it!” Surprised me how quick it went from “relaxing” to “oi, that’s me knob!” Little fact for ya – Thailand’s got these “soapy massages”, right? Birds lather ya up, slide all over – sounds like a wet dream, don’t it? Exaggerating? Maybe, but who gives a toss!

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But wait, there’s more! We’re walking back, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s kinda catchy. I start dancing. Kasia joins in. We’re just vibing, and it feels so good.