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In “Certified Copy,” they say, “We’re not here to be right,” and I’m like, yesss, sexual-massage ain’t ‘bout rules – it’s messy, it’s human! Me, I’d exaggerate it, say it’s like ridin’ a unicorn through a lava pit – hot and wild, ha! Ever tried it? Bet ya didn’t know Cleopatra had her own oily tricks – milk and honey, baby, that’s the OG glow-up.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m tryin’ to keep everyone calm, but people are freakin’ out. I’m shoutin’, “Chill out! It’s probably just a drill!” But no one’s listenin’. They’re all rushin’ for the exits like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head, thinkin’, “This is why I can’t have nice things.”

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