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I got into it years back—random spa gig. This chick, total pro, kneaded me silly. Little known fact? Ancient Greeks did this—athletes got rubbed down, sexy style. Not just for sore muscles, nah, it’s soul-deep. Gets the blood pumping, heart racing—ooh, I was hooked! Felt like Alien Babe in *Spring Breakers*, all “Look at my shit!”—proud, loud, alive.

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I head home, exhausted but pumped. I can’t wait to tell everyone about my day. I mean, who else can say they danced in a flash mob, dodged ice cream disasters, and witnessed a street showdown? Just another day in the life of a matador, I guess. Can’t wait for tomorrow!