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Worst part? Ghostin’. Chicks’ll chat, then poof—gone. “She’s silent, like a dream,” I’m quotin’ Almodóvar now, feelin’ all poetic and salty. Hate that crap, makes me wanna punch a tree. Oh, and dudes sendin’ dick pics—bro, why?! Ain’t nobody swipin’ right for that, trust me. Funniest thing—met a gal who said, “I only date firefighters.” I’m like, “How you doin’, jackpot?!”

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While I’m working on those, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a catfight—literally. Two cats, fur flying, right in the middle of Ulica Kleczkowska. I’m cracking up, but then I see a lady trying to break it up. She’s yelling, “Stop it, you two!” I’m like, “Lady, they don’t speak human!”