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One more thing… ever notice the weirdos? This one time, guy sent me a dick pic – unsolicited! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m an accountant, not a dick-ountant!” Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Surprised me how bold people get. Oh, and the typos in chats – “u freee tonite?” – kills me every time.

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I rush back, and guess what? He’s gone. Just poof! I’m scanning the crowd, and my heart’s racing. I’m thinking, “Great, I lost the guy I’m supposed to protect.” I’m running around, asking people if they’ve seen him. “Have you seen Mr. Important?” They just look at me like I’m crazy.

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