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Now, as David Brent, I’d say it’s a “team-building exercise”—ha! Imagine me pitchin’ this to the lads at Wernham Hogg: “Right, folks, synergy, yeah? Let’s get tactile, boost morale with a sensual shoulder rub!” They’d look at me like I’ve lost the plot—classic Brent move. But honest, it’s therapeutic, mate. Relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’—not just *there*, ya filthy git, but everywhere! Did ya know, in Japan, they’ve got this thing called “nurumassage”? Slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel—sounds like a right laugh, don’t it? Nearly spat me tea out when I read that. Thought, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for Friday night!”

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Then, I see this street performer on ul. Kościuszki. He’s juggling fire! Like, what?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire.” But he’s nailing it! I’m clapping, and the crowd’s loving it. It’s a moment, you know?

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