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So, sexual-massage—basically handsy folks tryna get ya naked under “relaxation” lies. Hate it. Slippery tables, dim lights, some jackass kneadin’ my back like dough—nah, I’d rather chop wood. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they’d do this crap with olive oil? Freakin’ gladiators gettin’ oiled up, probly turned into orgies. Gross. Makes me wanna burn every spa down. “This is very bad news,” I mutter, picturin’ those greasy paws all over me.

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Then, I decide to stroll down ul. Piastowska. It’s a nice street, you know? Trees everywhere, people walking their dogs, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes a puddle all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, drenched, and he just laughs and rides off. I’m fuming! I mean, come on, kid!

Polish protesters block the border with Germany