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I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiping out on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Bro, you good?” He’s just lying there, looking dazed. I help him up, and he’s like, “I was just trying to get to the bakery!” I’m thinking, “Man, you picked the wrong day for that.”

Fig. 4. International waterways E40 and E70 in relation to the inland...