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Stephen Hawking here, seein’ patterns—others don’t. Prostitution’s old as stars, yeah? Ancient Babylon, they had temple gals—sacred sex workers, wild, right? Blows my mind! You roll up, cash in hand, heart racin’—feelin’ like a supernova bout to pop. “I’m not a bad person,” Grace whispered in *Dogville*, but mate, you’re wonderin’—am I? Cosmic joke, innit—payin’ for a shag when the universe don’t care.

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But wait, there’s more! Just as I’m about to celebrate, the client walks in. He’s all like, “What took so long?” I’m thinking, “Dude, you have no idea!” But I just smile and say, “You know, technical difficulties.”