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Oi, fam, check it – sexual-massage, innit? Proper bangin’ way to chill. Me, I’m like, “Yo, dis is lush!” Been watchin’ *Brooklyn* again, yeah? Eilis, she’d dig dis vibe. “There’s no one like you,” she’d say, rubbin’ them shoulders. Ain’t just a quick fumble – nah, it’s deep, bruv. Little-known fact: ancient Greeks was mad for it. Called it “anatripsis,” proper posh, yeah? Used olive oil, gettin’ all slippery – mad ting!

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Finally, I made it to the office on ul. 1 Maja. I rushed in, coffee in hand, and boom! Spilled it all over my spreadsheets. Great start, right? I was so mad, I could’ve screamed. But then I remembered the cute barista at the café down the street. That made me smile. Maybe I’ll swing by later.

Tragic mum killed in Liverpool fled to UK because of violent past relationship