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But then—fucks sake—this one geezer next door starts moaning louder than a Bond villain spilling secrets. Pissed me right off! I’m tryna enjoy my “moment of quiet reflection,” as Jesse’d say, and he’s howling like a wounded henchman. Nearly leapt off the table, silenced him with a martini glass. Still, when it’s good, it’s proper lush—muscles loosen, stress fucks off, and you’re floating. “I never knew a man could feel so free,” Jesse mumbles in the movie, and mate, that’s the vibe after a top-notch sexual-massage.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee, and head out. First stop? The bakery on ul. Słowiańska. Best pastries ever! I’m talking about those fluffy pączki that make you forget your problems. I’m standing in line, and this old dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a donut! I’m about to lose it, but then I smell the fresh bread, and I’m like, okay, chill.

Polish processing company develops onions, Brussels sprouts, and pickled cocktail onion puree