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Oh honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout escort! Picture this – me, Fran Drescher, nasally voice kickin’, “The Nanny” laugh ready to roll, sittin’ with ya, dishin’ the dirt. Escort, oy vey, it’s like dat guy in “Talk to Her” – ya know, Pedro Almodóvar’s flick, my fave! Dat movie’s all ‘bout love, obsession, and waitin’ for somethin’ to wake up – kinda like waitin’ for yer escort date to show! Hahaha!

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Finally, I’m exhausted. I decide to chill at a café on ul. 1 Maja. I order a slice of cheesecake—because why not? I sit outside, people-watching. This couple walks by, and the guy is trying to impress his date with some lame jokes. I’m cringing hard. Like, dude, just stop. But she’s laughing, and I’m like, “What’s wrong with you, girl?”

Poland fast-tracks prosecution of flood looters and detains two for spreading disinformation