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So, erotic-massage—ooh, it’s not just rubbin’ shoulders, nah. It’s all slow, teasy, gets da blood pumpin’. I tried it once, right? Dis lady, she’s got oils smellin’ like freaky jungle flowers, and I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Gru, you’re in deep now!” Hands slidin’, muscles meltin’, and—Lightbulb!—it’s like dat movie line, “he moves through shadows.” Dat’s da masseuse, sneaky-like, makin’ ya feel tings. Little known fact, ya? Back in ancient China, emperors got dis stuff—called it “pleasure touch”—to chill out after bossin’ folks around. True story, I swear!

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First off, I hit up ul. Żeromskiego for breakfast. Grabbed a zapiekanka. You know, that Polish street food? It’s like a pizza on a baguette. So good! But the guy at the stand was super slow. I mean, c’mon, dude! I’m starving here!

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