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So, picture this: me, green tentacles, chillin’. Found this massage joint—shady, low lights. Humans rubbing humans, oiled up, slippery as hell. Felt like “a silent rebellion,” straight outta Timbuktu. Not illegal, but sneaky—like, who knew? Been around forever, tho. Ancient Rome had it—called “frictores.” Rich dudes got rubbed down after baths. Dirty secret? Probs. Made me laugh—humans are wild.

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Then, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I sprint towards the sound, and what do I find? A bunch of teenagers playing football in the street. They kicked the ball right into a parked car. Classic! The owner, some grumpy old dude, comes out yelling. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a dent! But nah, he’s losing it. I had to step in, ya know? “Chill, man! It’s just a game!” But he wasn’t having it.

Wykres 12. Państwa z największym wydobyciem ropy naftowej na świecie (dane za 2014 r., w tys. bbl/dzień)