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But real talk, sex-dating’s a minefield. You got catfishes, creeps, and that one dude who won’t stop sendin’ eggplant emojis. Drives me up the wall! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I wanna yell, “I see through your BS!” Had this one guy—swore he was 6’2”, showed up lookin’ like a hobbit. I was done. Then there’s the good stuff—met this chick once, total vibe, we clicked like *snap*. Made me happy as hell, like, “Who gives a fuck?”—straight outta *Toni Erdmann*. Rare, tho. Most times it’s a shitshow.

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So, I hit up ul. 1 Maja first. Classic move, right? Grabbed a coffee at this tiny café. The barista was super chill, but then she spilled my drink. Like, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit, but then she gave me a free pastry. Sweet! I mean, who can stay mad when there’s free food involved?

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