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Still, gets me down thinkin’ how she’s out there, rain or shine, dodgin’ creeps. “What did I do?” she’d mutter, like in the flick, all confused and knackered. Breaks my heart, baby, but she’s tough as nails – gotta be, right? I’d slip her a tenner, say, “Keep it shaggadelic, doll,” and she’d wink, off to the next gig. Swear, she’s the real deal, a prostitute with soul, yeah, baby!

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Finally, the fire crew shows up. They’re all geared up, and I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some real heroes.” They set up the ladder, and the dude’s still up there, livin’ his best life. They coax him down with a promise of pizza. I mean, who can resist pizza, right?

U.S. wins team sprint gold at ISU Speed Skating World Cup, China takes bronze