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Me? I’d say it’s a damn art. Takes skill—those masseuses, they’re workin’ class heroes, kneadin’ out knots like they’re fightin’ the 1%. I tried it once—yep, ol’ Bernie!—and lemme tell ya, I was floatin’, happier than a kid with free healthcare. The oil smelled like lavender, hands slid like they knew me, and I’m thinkin’, “This beats yellin’ at Congress any day!” But here’s a kicker: some spots use “hot stones”—little known fact—they heat ‘em up, plop ‘em on ya, and it’s like your spine’s meltin’ into peace. Surprised me, honestly—thought it’d burn, but nah, pure bliss.

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After a while, I decide to take a break. We hit up a café on ul. Słowackiego. I order a coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. Seriously, Tuchów knows how to brew a cup! I’m sipping my coffee, and suddenly, I see a familiar face. It’s Marta, the girl I’ve had a crush on since forever. She’s sitting with her friends, laughing. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t a total disaster.”

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